I am delighted to introduce you to Sharon Ratcliffe, who completed our Funeral Celebrant Training once she was already a succesful wedding and vow renewal celebrant. It was a joy working with Sharon who brings care, thoughtfulness and a great sense of humour to her work. Her previous experience as a Registrar gave her unique insights into the profession and I learned a great deal from her during her training. Sharon is based in Bedfordshire
What made you decide to become an Independent Celebrant?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
If I am honest, becoming a celebrant was a move that just evolved, I was working as a registrar and happy within that role. Sadly overtime, the work we did and the situations we were finding ourselves in were not supported by our employer (the council!) and I became disillusioned and felt undervalued. It was always in the back of my mind to become a celebrant, especially as I felt I had a lot of experience and one day I just went for it and handed in my notice and here we are!!
What skills do you think you bring to the role?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
Personally, I like to think I have empathy and understanding, my time as a registrar really helped and educated me in how very different we all are, our families, our cultures and what’s normal for one person may be completely extreme to others! A big skill I’ve worked on is trying not to react negatively in difficult situations, when people’s emotions are high they can behave out of character. You have to bring a calming influence, you have to show that you can help and are willing to help them, it’s very important to not be judgemental.
You were already a successful wedding Celebrant when you took our Funeral Celebrant training, what made you decide to offer these additional services?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
It soon became obvious that offering just weddings / vow renewals wasn’t quite enough, looking at other celebrants the majority provided funeral services too. I must admit I was hesitant but I felt it was important to show how valuable a family celebrant is, someone who can try to understand the rollercoaster of emotions grief can bring. I now actually wish I had started the funeral training much sooner, I find it’s a great balance from the ‘highs’ of wedding ceremonies to showing empathy and kindness to a family in need of your help in saying their final goodbyes.
What do you most love about the two different roles (weddings and funerals) ?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
This is a difficult one, I love the weddings because mostly you’re forming a friendship with a couple over a longer period of time, there’s lots of communication and you’re building trust that you will help them to have the ceremony of their dreams. On their wedding day, I love playing that small role, seeing their dream day unfold and being a spectator. It gives me such joy and as I leave in my car you can’t help smiling at their obvious happiness. It’s hard to say ‘love’ about someone’s funeral but I take so much pride in being trusted to write a service, I want it to be just right, each script is unique and I am more than happy to help and guide families so that the ceremony reflects the person they’re saying goodbye to.
What type of ceremony would you love to create – if there were no limits on time or budget?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
Oh gosh! Well actually I think all of the weddings I’ve completed so far have had lovely healthy budgets and from me there isn’t any restrictions on time! So I think I’d like to create funeral ceremonies where you don’t feel rushed and you’re not clock watching, a ceremony which is slightly more relaxed enabling friends and families to say a few words or to hear more reflections and stories. A proper farewell!
What top tip would you give to anyone exploring the idea of training as an Independent Celebrant?
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
My biggest piece of advice is that, whatever the ceremony you’re conducting happens to be, it’s not about you! It’s not your grief and not your love story, it’s your job to be the professional, to be their rock and to be their voice on one of the most important days of their lives. And when you have completed your ceremony, you quietly leave (hopefully) with the knowledge that you’ve done the best job possible and you’re proud of yourself!!
Can you share five things about Sharon the person – not the celebrant – tell us about you.
Sharon Ratcliffe Independent Celebrant:
I’m a lover of the countryside, I love nothing more than a long dog walk! We have lots of animals and my dream would be a farmhouse with a few acres so that I could add a few more into the mix. I’m a doer, I don’t like sitting around, I’m always on the go! Sometimes I do wish I could be that person who thinks “ nope, I’m having a sofa day!!” I’m very good in an emergency, calm and organised but you wouldn’t want me as your nurse!! Lastly, I can be extremely sarcastic, it’s a trait inherited from my father, I have learned to control it!!