This question is from one of our Bulletin readers, James. Each month, Dinah will answer a question and share it here on the Blog. Question: I want to show that I am an LGBTQ+ ally without looking insincere or over-the-top. How would you recommend I do this?
Dinah (She/Her) suggests:
Start with a look at this excellent Guest Interview this month from Julia Hawkes, Celebrant. I asked Julia for this interview after she posted on Instagram that she looked forward to a time when we stopped saying ‘gay wedding’ and just said ‘wedding’.
Being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community as a celebrant is not just about grand gestures or loud proclamations. It’s about consistent, genuine actions that show your support. If you want to be a strong ally without appearing insincere or over-the-top, follow these practical steps tailored to your role as a celebrant:
1. Add Your Pronouns to Everything
Including your pronouns in your website, business card, email signature, Zoom name, and social media profiles is a straightforward and impactful way to show your support. Sharing your pronouns signals that you respect others’ identities and creates a safer, more inclusive space for everyone, including your clients. For example, on your website, you can have a section that says, “Hi, I’m [Your Name] (she/her), and I look forward to celebrating your special moments with you.”
2. Write an Inclusion and Diversity Policy and Stick to It
Drafting an Inclusion and Diversity Policy is essential. This policy should outline your commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion in your ceremonies and business practices. Share this policy on your website and with every new client. For instance, you might include a statement such as, “I celebrate love in all its forms and am committed to creating ceremonies that reflect and honour the diversity of the couples I work with.”
3. Feature LGBTQ+ Services and Makers on Your Blog
Interviewing LGBTQ+ services and makers as guests on your blog is an excellent way to show support. Highlight their businesses and link to their websites or social media profiles to help others connect with them. For example, you could write a blog post featuring an LGBTQ+ owned florist or photographer, discussing how they contribute to making weddings special and inclusive. Share personal anecdotes about your experiences working with them to add to their credibility.
4. Customize Ceremonies to Reflect LGBTQ+ Inclusivity
Ensure that the ceremonies you design are inclusive and respectful of LGBTQ+ identities. Ask your clients about their preferences and pronouns, and use gender-neutral language in your ceremonies. For example, instead of saying “bride and groom,” you can say “partners” or “couple.”
5. Support LGBTQ+ Events and Causes
Attend and support LGBTQ+ events, such as Pride parades, fundraisers, and community gatherings. As a celebrant, you could offer your services at these events, such as officiating at a Pride wedding or naming ceremony. Share your experiences and the events you support on social media to raise awareness.
6. Use Inclusive Language
Be mindful of the language you use. Avoid assumptions about gender or sexual orientation and use inclusive language in all your communications. This small but significant practice shows respect and inclusivity. For example, in your initial consultations, ask open-ended questions like, “Tell me about your love story,” rather than assuming traditional roles.
7. Listen to and Amplify LGBTQ+ Voices
One of the most important things you can do as an ally is to listen to LGBTQ+ people and amplify their voices. Share their stories, support their businesses, and advocate for their rights. Your platform as a celebrant can help bring attention to important issues and voices within the community.