Top Tips for Looking After Your Mental Health as a Funeral Celebrant
Working as a Funeral Celebrant is a deeply rewarding profession. You have the privilege of supporting families during some of the most challenging moments of their lives, helping them honour their loved ones with dignity and care. However, this work can take an emotional toll. Often, as Celebrants, we prioritise the needs of others while neglecting our own mental health and wellbeing.
This imbalance can lead to burnout, emotional fatigue, and mental health struggles. Taking care of your own wellness isn’t just a luxury—it’s a necessity. When you’re at your best, you’re better able to offer compassion and professionalism to grieving families. Here are some practical tips to ensure your wellness remains a priority:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotional Load
It’s important to recognise that the work we do is emotionally intense. Writing and delivering life celebrations, supporting grieving families, and attending multiple funerals can leave you emotionally drained. Be honest with yourself about the impact this has on you. By acknowledging your feelings rather than suppressing them, you give yourself permission to seek the support you need.
2. Set Boundaries Around Your Availability
Funeral work can feel all-encompassing, with clients often needing urgent support. However, it’s vital to establish boundaries. Decide on clear working hours and communicate them with families. You deserve time to rest and recharge without feeling guilty. Having a clear structure helps you avoid overcommitting and ensures you have energy for each family you serve. And never feel that you have to justify the limits you set. A simple ‘I am not able to help on this occasion’ is explanation enough.
3. Seek Support from Fellow Celebrants
Connecting with others in our profession can be incredibly therapeutic. Fellow Celebrants understand the unique pressures of the role and can offer advice or simply listen. Consider joining celebrant associations such as the Association of Independent Celebrants (AOIC) and local networking groups. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can help alleviate feelings of isolation.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
It’s easy to be hard on yourself in this line of work, particularly if you’re striving to meet the high expectations of grieving families. Remember, you are human. Accept that you can’t be perfect and that doing your best is enough. Celebrate your successes and forgive yourself for mistakes. This is so vital to our mental health. Carrying constant anxiety about whether you’re doing enough, or your work is good enough are hugely damaging.
5. Create Rituals for Letting Go
After delivering a funeral, it’s essential to find ways to release the emotions tied to the service. This could be as simple as taking a quiet walk, lighting a candle, or writing in a journal. These rituals can help you transition from work mode to personal time, preventing emotional overwhelm. I always book time with a friend, for cake and coffee (of course!) or get a ride planned with hubby on our motorbike, as soon as possible after I’ve taken a service. I book it into my calendar straight after I confirm the funeral. I know it’s the best way I can support my mental health and I prioritise it.
6. Prioritise Physical Wellness
Your mental health is closely linked to your physical health. Regular exercise, whether it’s yoga, swimming, or walking, can significantly reduce stress and boost your mood. Pair this with sufficient sleep to give your body and mind the energy they need to cope with the demands of your work. Good food is important too, and taking a break at lunchtime (despite what you may hear about it not being important) is key to help you focus in the afternoon. It’s also a good reminder to be kind to yourself.
7. Learn to Say No
It’s tempting to take on every request, especially when families are in need. However, saying yes to too much can lead to exhaustion. Many of us learned this the hard way during COViD, taking on far too many services and then feeling utterly drained and exhausted. Trust that there are other capable Celebrants who can step in if you’re unavailable. Protecting your time is not selfish; it’s essential for sustainable practice.
8. Engage in Professional Development
Taking time to refine your skills and learn new approaches to your work can boost your confidence and satisfaction. Look for workshops, online courses, or seminars aimed at Celebrants. Expanding your knowledge can also make your work feel more fulfilling and less monotonous. And the boost in confidence will boost your sense of worth, and wellbeing.
9. Consider Professional Counselling
Regularly hearing stories of loss and grief can be heavy. Speaking to a counsellor or therapist can provide you with tools to process these emotions and maintain your mental resilience. It’s not a sign of weakness but of strength to seek help when needed. And remember, if you’re a member of the AOIC, you get access to AOIC Support, which provides counselling and support.
10. Take Time to Recharge
Schedule regular time off and protect it fiercely. Whether it’s a weekend away, a day out in nature, or simply a quiet day at home, recharging is non-negotiable. Taking breaks prevents burnout and keeps you at your best for those you serve. I’d love to know how you make time for yourself to recharge – what really works for you?
Final Thoughts
As Funeral Celebrants, we’re entrusted with a profound responsibility. But to give our best to others, we must also give our best to ourselves. By prioritising our mental health, we ensure that we remain a source of strength, empathy, and security for grieving families.
Start small. Choose one or two of these tips to implement this week. You’ll not only feel better in yourself but will also be setting a powerful example of self-care for those around you. Looking after your mental health isn’t just good for you—it’s good for everyone who relies on you.
From my heart to yours,
Dinah